My secret

i told you guys that i have depression but not what lead to it.

well....

i don't know if i can or would tell you about it. not yet. but some of my friends knew about it and i'm okay as long as they're the ones that knows it. how do i say this, i'm not ashamed about it at all but i don't think anyone needs to know about my personal life.

i know, me writing in a public blog isn't anywhere private. just bare with me okay. i need to let my feelings out. and sometimes i feel like sharing with people even when i'm actually babbling here.

anyway,
some of my friends are dealing with the same thing and they're very secretive about it. some are very good friends of mine and i just know about it a last year. but i think it's their right. but how come they are so cool about it? don't they feel like wanted to scream at everyone? well i sure feel like screaming.

or is it because i have depression? or because i'm so broken inside that it takes me longer to be on the end of the road?

sometimes i feel okay, sometimes i'm not. and in those times i think about the 'what ifs'.
what if i did this
what if i did that
maybe i should do this

people say that your time will come. is it my time yet?

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